You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
