I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize