No, you can still breathe under the balls.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
You left your phone here
Wait...
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