But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
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