Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
