$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
