so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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