You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
