it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
