On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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