Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
