Me. At least after what I've been through.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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