What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize