Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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