why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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