so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
