Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
