Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
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