Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
