No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
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He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
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I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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