neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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