ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
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