awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
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all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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