fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
