I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Randomize
