I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Randomize
