she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
