UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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