we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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