I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
