2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
the liver wants what the liver wants
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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