every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
