were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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