Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Welp...herpes.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
