He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
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