please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
