i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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