i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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