Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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