from now on my penis is your penis
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Randomize
