okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
