im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
