I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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