Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
