I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
