I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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