do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I'm just crazy horny about you
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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