Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
where are you?
Hypothermia
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
