We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
