yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
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