I heard we made out
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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