Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Randomize