I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
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The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
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Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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