I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
