Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Randomize
