I look better un-naked...
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
