im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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