He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
This is classic penis vs brain.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
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