I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
We have started to decorate penises.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
