then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
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